eskimo friend

its nice to have someone i can talk to.

im quite secretive.

i judge my own words.

but when i get to talk to a person im comfortable talking,

i feel awesome!

its like talking to the other me.

what more can i say.

what is wrong with you?

i know ok.

it's wrong.

but doing wrong thing makes me feel alrite.

why cant it be alrite?

if you do good things all the time,

would it make you feel alrite?

This is not about right and wrong.

This is about your life.

Do you realize what you're doing now?

hmm..

-silent-

i know ok.

i know that

this is my life.

and this is how i do things.

i know its wrong sometimes.

but i learn from it.

im trying to tell everyone

what i feel.

i'll do that.

you're just trying.

it's not enough.

you try hard?

oh shut up.

it's not as easy as that.

im not that strong.

i dont want to see everyone

feel bad and sad because of me.

-silent-

It's always like this.

i never get the solution for this.

our window

Well it's four in the morning,

things are getting heavy,

and we both know that it's over,
but we both are not ready

and you're talking like a stranger

so I don't know what to do

and I'm callous and I'm cruel,
to everyone but you

Well I don't think that it's the end

but I know we can't keep going

Well I don't think that it's the end

but I know we can't keep going

-noah and the whale-

it starts again.

i know im being selfish as i just start writing when things got strangled and i dont know who to talk to. But at least i have it here.somewhere i can express and let it go. Sorry if you came across this page and read this somber note but i had to.

I sometimes thought where does all this will lead to? Its nowhere.just cycling around and around and its funny how the world can be. I want to be far away from people i know and start all over again. Start everything new like pressing the 'reset' button. All of us made so many promises and chasing their own pursuit until they forgot to endure the person right in front of him/her. The person who always get the blame and try to fix it even though it sometimes get mistaken.

All im asking is just a piece of smile the least. Seeing you with that kind of look makes me feel useless and empty.

Seriously i am tired making you happy whereby there is no space for me to do what i want and be happy for myself.

Im confuse with what is actually love all about. Its just a funny thing, the more i see it the less i feel it. its just numb and slowly fade.

No matter how i try to oblige them, its just wasted.

This will be the last that i write while im still in love because i will soon leave this feeling behind and keep on moving. I dont think its the end but i know it cant keep going.

31st october 2009

fly the flyer.

Some stuff i did for a Jazz club in Hartamas. Noice place to chill out and live music of a ambient jazz. Its a online flyer to welcome jazz lover organizing party or galas or even annual dinner in Groove Junction.