2nd year far from homeland.

Dah masuk hari ke 3 kita berpuasa untuk tahun ni. And will be my second year celebrating Raya in New Zealand.This year will be a bit tougher and i need to really plan my time management. Abg pon dah balik from Tassie and its only me yg tinggal untuk complete our family puzzle. This year would be the most akward for me. Undescribable, speechless and shockness for us..i mean for myself to accept that there has been a lot of changing back in Malaysia. Im happy and at the same time i need to really bare in mind that everyone has their own right to decide for their own happiness. I am happy for you and sorry for not being there. 

Papehal pon, i am fortunate enough that i am a Malaysian citizen. We have everything there. Almost everything. Cukup setakat 2 tahun untuk tinggal di tempat orang, banyak benda kita boleh menilai dari semua sudut pandangan. Masa kecik2 dulu berangan2 bila dah besar nak sambung belajar overseas. Bila raya sure tengok sudut salam perantauan from student yg belajar luar dari Malaysia. Dalam hati aku nak jadi mcm diorang. Tak pernah nak terfikir sambung belajar kat dalam negeri. Sekarang aku sedang menaip di tempat yang jauh dari kampung halaman aku sendiri. Banyak benda yg aku belajar secara langsung or tak langsung. Its hard, fun but yet challenging. Aku banyak observe macamana perangai budak2 Malaysia yang datang sendiri and yang disponsor dari kerajaan for example MARA or JPA. They are totally living in comfort zone. No need to worry about school fees, budget sentiasa masyuk. 

Damn it kadang kadang tuh aku jeles je dgn diorang tapi aku tau aku belajar banyak compare dgn diorang. Nak nak lagi aku belajar dekat Wanganui. Entah macmana ntah ada design collge kat sini...pelik bin ajaib. Tapi i am still lucky enough that i manage to adapt myself slowly.

Design knowledge pon dah better and skills lagila improve compared masa zaman dulu. Ada hati tunjuk portfolio kat company besar2. tapi at least aku confident je la kan..

Sekarang aku dah tau mana hala tuju future aku, insyaAllah. Semua pon dah besar and i can live on my own now. I am big enough right now. I now how to bring myself in front of the public.

Whatever it is Malaysia jugakla tempat yang terbaik untuk aku tunjuk knowledge aku cuz kat tempat orang jangan harap kita dipandang tinggi. We are sometimes invisibles. Cubala sekuat mana still ada perception yang kita ni rendah dari dia. Mat Salleh ni bukanla terror sangat just diorang punya self confidence tu melebih lebih and the up bringing is always in positive environment. Bila kat Malaysia tak terfikir nak baca pasal Malaysia tapi since dah duduk sini aku orderla buku called "Honk! if you're Malaysians" by Lydia Teh. Talking about Malaysian insight sometimes make me laugh dengan secara sinis. Kadang kadang tuh malu pon ada. Tapi that's us. That what makes us different. Berbalik pada cerita sebelum nih, aku tak sabar nak balik Malaysia cuz dekat sana aku boleh gelak terbahak2, menjerit sesuka hati, melompat setinggi langit...Takde sape nak pandang slack kecualila kalau ada makcik2 dari kampung sure geleng kepala and dalm hati sure dia kate " apa nak jadi anak dara zaman sekaramg"...

Tapi aku tak kesah cuz kita sebangsa..kita orang Malaysia.Aku boleh cakap bahasa melayu, English, Manglish or anything that i feel like doing it.

Jangan harapla kat sini kita boleh buat mcmtu cuz kita orang Asia. Bila sebut 'Im Asian, they automatically gimme one look and say "ne how ma"...wtf?

so...i explain I am Malaysian...Then they will ask me "oo ya its the Tsunami place" again wtf?

How do i describe Malaysia when they don't even heard and know about it? The laziest way to answer is "it is next to Singapore" (dalam hati aku menyirap je nak sebut negara kiasu tuh)

But tu jela cara yg senang tuk diorang paham....and they will give me one look and say "oo ya Singapore...i know that country, its the only Asian country that is safe..again wtf?

aku pon senyum senyum kambing jela kat mat salleh2 ni...kadang diorang ni nak kate bengong pon ade jugak...cuz sebodoh bodoh aku aku tahu semua negara yang ada kat dunia ni..takla semua tapi taula...Sehitam hitam kulit aku nih aku dah pegi banyak negara dah; UK,France,Holland,German etc....dalam kelas aku just 10% je yg penah jalan2 negara org.

so i cant blame them cuz they didnt get a chance to travel..pity them.

Cup..apasal aku melalut banyak sangat nih?

ntah..just nak menulis ketidak puasan hati terhadap orng Kiwi terutamanya orang kiwi wanganui...ish ish ish....kalau orang Kelantan kate  " emm payoh" ahaha...kelantan! orang orangnye menyebabkan satu lagi hal di Malaysia.

Hmmm..too many things to write. But i save it later.

cheers.

Selamat berpuasa kepada umat Islam di dunia.